My journey through this thing they call life


the_things_you_own_end_up_owning_you__by_digitalinkcs-d68rwmrIt really has been a case of just this. I have fallen so far off the track , so far down the path, it looks like a tiny speck in a distance, one that might as well have been just in my mind. My mind is so weak, so beat down, it keeps looking for meaning in everything, yet I find nothing. I don’t even know what I am looking for to be completely truthful. I do not know if any of the decisions I made are right, but what good does that do ? I mean it is not like I can change anything. Everything seems so off..

I am so lost, I really do not know anymore where I was going, but I am moving ahead forging ahead mercilessly without stopping to think because when I stop and think, this happens.. the emptiness returns. I cannot have that so I work 16 hours a day and fatigue my brain with mindless challenges that make me work harder and harder to a random end point that gets shifted further and further out each day.

I need time for introspection but I fear it. I fear it and I do not know what to do.. The first step is accepting it.. and while I cannot say I have accepted it, I am considering it.



One Response to “Lost”

  1. allym007

    Hi my dear friend, I have been so lost myself that I haven’t been there for you in your difficult time and I still struggle every single day with my own situation.
    My life is utter chaos and I don’t know what I am doing or what I want to do. I have absolutely no clue about anything that is past present or future, my world is all confusion and I am dreading what I might find if I take the time to stop and think. I don’t even know where to begin.

    Needless to say, I can totally relate to what you are going through. You’ve known me for a long time through good and bad times and sometimes I wish I could talk to you because I feel what you feel and I wish I could help you find peace and enlightment.

    Last week, on a whim, I put my things in my car and I left my house to go to a friend’s in Paris. I’ve been there for a week and I really doubt I have made the right decision. Putting distance from my home doesn’t solve my problem, I feel more lost than ever and I just don’t know what is happening to me.

    Oh I have missed you so much, and your pictures and your writing…
    Please write me anytime. I am here for you.



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