I think .. I think, I have had enough of my work. It has been a long grueling day full of what can only be kindly described as challenges. I remember of the six sigma types preaching that one had to plan 80% the day, and I have diligently tried this. I have come up with what has to be the most incorrect way to do this. I plan, and very correctly so, that 80% of my day will be filled with unmitigated chaos. Not just the mild, harmless chaos of a preschool full of kids at lunch time, but the unimaginable nerve-racking chaos of a war zone in Somalia kind of chaos.
While that may be a slight exaggeration of the facts it is the closest I can get to describing my work. Everyday, without fail, something goes wrong. What piece of equipment that is mission critical breaks down, when I need staff the most, not one but 3-4 call out. When you scurry and cover those , then something that used to be a one email process breaks down into a 30 email chain with everyone and their mother giving you an explanation of why things will not work.
Today marked the epitome of that day, I felt like I had been beat down from every angle possible for the longest time and each time I crawled back up, something new dropped. And I found my self in this oddly familiar spot of wanting to leave no matter who said what. That no matter who, in this matter is my astrologer.. I understand that not everyone believes in it, or has even consulted one in their life times. But when you have them predict an accident years ahead of time, to the year and month give or take a few months, and also tell you how severe it will be then you start to believe in it.
I am at that cross roads again, wondering where to now. This too shall pass, I tell myself. The real question however is what will be of me when this has passed if I am to persist in the same spot.